God's Thoughts (Oh là là)

I wake up in the morning

my dad is smoking in his room before going out to work

I can smell tobacco and weed

he slams the door

the sun is behind the clouds, it's cold.

I go downstairs

the kitchen is empty

there is only me.

I make a cup of tea and I burn a toast

I put another slice in the toaster

the first ray of sunlight touches the sink

it's dirty: the sink not the sunlight.

Dishes pile up for days till the weekend when my dad screams and shouts because, he says, I do

nothing. The sun ray shrinks back, behind the clouds. I spread a layer of peanut butter and one of jam on top. My toast is mustard yellow and purple like my old school uniform —a purple jacket with yellow piping. I am a young man now. I go to college: a bedlam of walking problems like myself, you can't even blame anyone for it, you just have to take it out on someone else. It's just the way it is.

I leave the house with my toast in my left hand

I cross the park

walk on the muddy grass till I reach the opposite side of the common

No one looks or talks to me

I no longer exist I have became a ghost and so has dad.

Now that it's just me and him in the house I never see him. All I hear is screaming, coughing or

swearing behind his closed door. I'd like to leave but I don't know where to go.

I could no longer stand the sight of the empty kitchen with its tower of dishes and the ciggy butts in

the sink so I decided to write a blog, not just any blog but the blog of god: the creator, Zeus, Odin,

Jupiter. I don't know how to call it; there have been so many! Greek, Roman, Viking,

Celtic gods. They are all dead now. I think that's only fair, no one lives forever, not even mums.

When I started writing my blog something strange happened. I don't know how but I could find

answers to all my questions. God talked through me, the answers came into my ears as if dictated

by someone else and that's why I decided to call it 'God's thoughts'.

Now my life has changed

I wake up early in the morning

I leave home and although no one looks at me I am no longer a ghost.

At college they asked me to fill in a questionnaire with lots of strange questions but instead of

answering with my own words, like I would have done in the past, I answered it with god's

thoughts. The teachers looked at me, they were impressed. I could tell.

My dad know nothing. I heard a woman's voice laughing behind his door the other day; it's the first

time since SHE left. I immediately went to my desk, I opened my laptop and here are god's words.

“Get on with your work, stop complaining. Look at the stars, how long did you think it took me to

make them, a week? Bullshit, It took me billions of years. And do you think I did it by myself? No,

that old devil helped me, what's his name? and by the way stop blaming him for all the horrible

things you do down there, he is not as bad as you think.”

The words would just flow out of my fingers, like in a science fiction movie, then into the keyboard

up the screen and into little cute letters. The only weird thing is that they were all of different

colours. I mean each letter: blue, red, yellow. I know you don't believe me but I swear it's true.

In my science coursework I answered with gods's words again. The title was: Explain why dinosaurs 

became extinct 65 millions years ago. This is what I wrote:

Coursework

“Oh là là! I made a mistake. MISTAKE you heard me. As for the omnipotent, wait a minute, have

you had a look around? Meteorites, tsunamis, explosions, earthquakes and...the dinosaurs. That

probably was the biggest mistakes of all, apart from men of course (women, on the contrary, were a

great success of mine. I am so proud of them). What can I say in my defence? ...Let's say that I was

practising. Not bad for a horror movie though, have you seen how many directors have copied me

so far?”

“Oh là là” is what my French teacher always says. I like the sound of it and so does god. As you

well know he speaks all languages.

And it was at that point that my teachers wrote to my dad a letter. It slipped through the slot one

morning and lay on the floor with the rest of the correspondence.

When I came back from college my dad was standing up next to the sink with the letter in his

hands.

‘What happened at college?’ he said

I stopped and looked at him. I hadn't seen him for weeks. As I said before, I only hear his voice behind 

his bedroom door. He had put some weight on and his receding line had gone up half an inch. He was

wearing new clothes, they suited him.

‘It's about my science coursework’ I said, ‘I don't think they liked it’

‘What was it about?’ he said

‘Dinosaurs’ I said and climbed up the stairs, went into my room and shut the door behind me.

The pale ray of sunlight, that was gently touching the kitchen sink in the morning, was now

illuminating my computer screen with all the strength of a thousand spotlights. Without delays I

went to my desk and started hitting the keyboard like never before. For each key I hit

a note from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony came out. 

'Oh là là' I said.